![]() ![]() ![]() I had a therapist once tell me that people who are dealing with depression can sometimes feel drawn to it, even unconsciously, because its familiarity and predictability feels safe. So why did I do it? I have some theories:ĭepression is predictable. While depression isn’t an ideal state to be in, it’s not necessarily full of surprises, either. It only sustained the depression that I was already feeling, often making it worse than when I started. No matter how many times my friends told me to give it a rest, it kept pulling me back in.īut as you’ve noticed, it never helps. At my worst, you could find me listening to angsty music reading old, despairing blog entries or camped out on my couch watching really triggering shows on an endless loop. I find this question to be really relevant, as I used to do this a lot myself. I want to validate this for you upfront: Emotional self-harm? It’s a thing. Bonus points if those thoughts are then shared with a therapist! Hopefully that will give you some food for thought. I’m crazy… but I’m not a mind reader! I can, however, remark on my own experiences and observations. Let’s start with what I think is a pretty important disclaimer: Not knowing your particular history, I can’t say with any certainty what drives you to make particular choices. I know that it doesn’t help, but it’s almost like a compulsion. I’ve noticed that sometimes, when I’m at a low point, I’ll get sucked into listening to sad music, revisiting sad memories, watching sad movies, and basically making myself worse. I struggle with anxiety and depression and I have for years. I’m kicking the stigma where it hurts, one question at a time. We’re talking all things mental health - trauma, happy pills, mood episodes, and whatever else you tweet me about. Crazy Talk is an advice column powered by your donations on Patreon, written by Sam Dylan Finch (that’s me!), and hosted by your fave queer blog, Let’s Queer Things Up! While I’m not medical doctor, I am a card-carrying member of Club Crazy, living the good life with a mood disorder, anxiety, and complex PTSD (gotta catch ’em all!). ![]()
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